More economics shit

So I don’t understand the huge fucking deal about the weakness of the goddamned Euro. I mean, so who the fuck cares if their currency is “weak” compared to some other fucking currency? Sure, it like sounds wimpy an’ shit, like “haha dude you are Weeeeeak!”, but it’s not like really so fucking awful and like waaaaa my currency is weak and oh noooo my poor poooor balance of payments!

Some Euros or some kinda shit like that

Some Euros or some kinda shit like that

So say you’re some Euro dude and you want to buy some foreign shit, and you go to buy it and the fucker is like “you want to buy it with what?” and like “those Euros aren’t worth jack-shit, so if you want to buy my crap you gotta give me like ten billionof ’em”. And that’s a drag ’cause you can’t buy the foreign shit, but really you can just go to some other Euro fucker who makes the same kinda shit, and buy it from him, and he’s a Euro dude too so he’ll take just a couple Euros for it, and so you didn’t get the foreign shit that you originally wanted, but you got some similar shit, and really shit is shit, y’know?

And if you’re a Euro bastard who wants to like sell stuff to foreigners (or y’know people that Euro dudes think are foreigners, which includes like Americans who aren’t actually foreign, but you know what I mean), you are in Hog Heaven, ’cause you can be all like “my shit is one million Euros!”, and they can just go down to the bank and buy a million Euros for like nine ninety-five, and they’re like “here’s your million Euros, sucker!”, and you’re like “yes!!”, and everybody’s happy.

An’ really once enough fuckers who have real money start buying all that Euro shit ’cause Euros are so cheap, Euro stuff’ll get all like fashionable an’ shit, and everyone’ll want to buy it because it’s cheap and like Lady Fucking Ga-Ga is wearing it or anyway it’s cheap, and so people will want to buy like billions an’ billions o’ Euros to buy it with, and when some assholes want to buy tons o’ some shit the price of the shit always goes up, and so Euros’ll start to be worth more again.

So it’s, like, self-correcting an’ shit. I’n’t? I mean, fuck!

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4 Comments to “More economics shit”

  1. I think that’d be pretty much right except for the debt. It’s way too complicated for me, but say a dollar equals a euro and you owe me a dollar according to a deal we struck some time back but all of a sudden now a dollar is worth a hundred euros: do I accept one euro as repayment or do I demand a hundred of them? Probably I demand a hundred of them, but all you have is one. Oops.

    • That is a good point. And in fact, as a broader observation on the weblog in general, both this post and the “Yay I saved European Bankers!” one from the other day are more Adventures In Writing than they are serious economic analyses.

      The problem with the Euro isn’t, or at least isn’t to first order, either low interest rates on it or simple weakness against the dollar; it seems to be holding pretty steady against the dollar according to at least some random graph I found, and given that it’s apparently hard to obtain loans in Europe it might be that the interest rates that you have to sign up for to get them are actually high, I dunno.

      The real problem seems to be that lots of national governments in Europe owe lots and lots of money. (To each other? To Goldman Sachs? I don’t know!) Or some kinda shit like that… :)

  2. Near as I can tell, the problem is this, Europe has a common currency but every country sells bonds to pay for their stuff. America does that too but, as a last resort, the Fed will start buying bonds to stimulate demand. The European Central Bank won’t do that. If nobody’s buying Greek bonds that’s Greece’s problem. Instead, countries like Greece have to go to the richer members and borrow money.

    So far Germany has been lending money but they’re not happy and insist on austerity measures as their price for the money. People are nervous about Europe because they’re scared countries like Greece, Spain and Italy will just decide that the high rates they’re forced to offer to move their bonds, not to mention the austerity measures imposed, aren’t worth it and they’ll default, leave the EU and go back to their own currency. And that will make the banks who are holding that debt very sad indeed. Iceland did that but it’s a tiny country and they still had their own money.

Hm?

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