Lesbian Babysitters!

In some porn spam I got the other day (I get significant porn spam, and sometimes I open it on the off chance there will be either attractive pictures of naked people, something amusing, or both), there was an ad for the lyrically-titled “I’m Fucking My BF’s Black Stepdad”.

And I thought that was somewhat noteworthy.

It may actually have been, say, “I’m Fucking My BF’s Black Stepdad #27”, since porn movies often have surprisingly large numbers at the end. I know that for instance Lesbian Babysitters is up to at least #5, because that one showed up in some (perhaps other) porn spam recently.

(Lesbian Babysitters, as a general theme, strikes me as having some potential for a sort of poignant, if brief, anti-porn.

“Thank you so much for driving me home, Mr. Jones, you really didn’t have to.”

“My pleasure, Ingrid, you are really a lovely girl. I would like to get to… know you better.”

“Mr. Jones, please take your hand from my thigh! While I might otherwise leap at the chance to have cliched unconvincing sex with you here in this car, it happens that I am a lesbian.”

“Oh, I see! Well, good night then.”

“Good night.”

Although in fact I suspect that it’s just that Mrs. Jones is the one that drives Ingrid home, and the obvious occurs. But one can dream!)

But anyway, on the subject of the BF’s black stepdad, I was struck in particular by the “my BF’s” part. Wouldn’t there be more of the frisson of the forbidden if she was fucking her own black stepdad, rather than her BF’s? Perhaps they’ve already used up all of the possible plots (“plots”) in that series, and decided they had to move on. There is, I suppose, a bit of the “naughtily being unfaithful to the BF with his own step-parent” element in this variant.

Maybe, for that matter, among the vast secretive audience for porn, there are people who for whatever reason just find the “my BF’s” variant attractive, and the “my own” one unacceptable. You never know.

This, of course, leads one (and I know it’s not just me, c’mon admit it) to consider many (many) other promising series which might also find their viewerships.

“I’m Fondling the Shapely Bum of my BF’s Fitness Instructor”

“I’m Sexting With My Half-Brother’s Red-Headed Ex-Mistress”

“I’m French-Kissing My Barber’s Dutch Sister-in-law”

#38…

Update: oh, wait, wait, I’ve thought of a(nother) sure-fire Lesbian Babysitter plotline.

Attractive young woman rings doorbell at upscale suburban house. Attractive and well-dressed couple answer the door, indicate that the child is already in bed, they should be back by 11, and the emergency numbers are on the fridge, and go out.

Attractive young woman sits at the table doing homework. Her cellphone rings. She begins chatting in an extremely friendly way with the caller, saying that she had a great time last night, and suggesting that they go out again together soon. The conversation contains considerable flirtation and romantic language.

Then, after awhile, attractive young woman addresses the caller by name, and it is a female name! Like “Marcia”, or “Heather”! Because, you see, the attractive young babysitter is a lesbian! So the person that she is flirting with is another young woman!

Titillating, eh?

I’ll be here all week.

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2 Comments to “Lesbian Babysitters!”

  1. I think it has to do (in part) with the laws against depiction of incest. It might be that depiction of real incest is okay, just not depiction of fictional incest. This is probably why we won’t see any new movies of Bible stories.

    • Hm, interesting! Does a step-parent count as incest? I would look around to see if there actually are any “my stepdad” variants, but we don’t have the internetz back at home yet, and somehow I don’t want to do that at work. :) Good point on the Bible stories!

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