The Ontological Argument for the Existence of the Z2500 Rocket Car in my Basement

Let us define “the Z2500 Rocket Car” to be the most amazing rocket car in my basement that it’s possible to imagine.

We can use simple logic to discover various things about the Z2500 Rocket Car.

It is a rocket car, and it is in my basement, by definition. It is also really amazing as a direct consequence of the definition and our own experience, as it is possible to imagine some really amazing rocket cars in my basement.

Obviously it has a siren and flashing lights, and can not only drive really fast on land, but can also fly and travel on and under the water, since a rocket car that can do all these things is obviously more amazing than one that can’t.

Equally obviously, the Z2500 Rocket Car exists, because a rocket car that exists is clearly more amazing than one that doesn’t.

And beyond that, it’s impossible to conceive of it not existing! Because, again, a rocket car that it’s impossible to conceive of not existing, is more amazing than one that it’s possible to conceive of not existing.

So that’s very cool: there exists a rocket car in my basement that has a siren and flashing lights, can fly, etc. Woot!

There are two problems with this:

• We don’t have a garage or anything, or even a cellar door, so I’m not sure how I’m going to get the Z2500 Rocket Car out of my basement. However, I’m pretty sure that I can leave that up to the car itself, because a car that could solve a problem like that by itself would clearly be more amazing than one that couldn’t.
• Also, when I go down into my basement, I don’t see the Z2500 Rocket Car that is down there. Presumably this is because it’s invisible (a rocket car that can become invisible is obviously more amazing than one that can’t), but it also means that I can’t get into it and ride around in it right now, and that seems contradictory, since a rocket car that I can get into and ride around in, right now, would seem to be more amazing than one that I can’t.

Clearly further thought is needed.

With thanks, obviously, to old Gaunilo of Marmoutiers and his excellent island. It is sad that Anselm’s response to this is to ignore the island entirely, and just restate the original argument in different words. They weren’t really aware of rigorous logic back then (Hi, Aristotle!).