Posts tagged ‘stories’

2022/11/12

NaNoWriMo 2022, Fling Twenty

Everything comes together deep down.

The gentle tendrils of the mushrooms and the fungi, the mycelia, form into knots beneath the damp ground, and those knots reach out and connect to each other, knots of knots of knots connected in a single vast sheet below the world.

The fungi do not think.

But they know.

There are more connections in the mycelia of the rich dark earth of a single farm, than in the brain of the greatest human genius.

But they do not think.

The stars are connected, by channels where gravity waves sluice in and out of the twelve extra dimensions of the universe, the ones whose nature we haven’t figured out yet.

The stars… the stars think.

But they do not know.

The fungal and stellar networks found each other and connected a long time ago.

Every tree and every stone, every mammal footstep, every shovel of earth. Every spaceship and satellite launch.

They are always watching.

Or no.

Every tree, stone, footstep, and every launch, are part of the network already.

Every tree, stone, footstep, and every launch, is just the galactic star-fungus network, thinking, and knowing.

“Really?”

“I mean, absolutely. There’s no way it could be false.”

“They’re connected? We’re … part of their giant brain?”

“Of course. Everything is part of everything.”

“I — but if it isn’t falsifiable…?”

“That’s right, it’s not really a scientific theory. It’s more a way of thinking.”

“A religion?”

“A philosophy, more.”

“But if it isn’t true…”

“Oh, it’s true.”

“Stars and fungus… sounds sort of paranoid.”

“Nah, it’s just how the universe is; everything is connected, and the fungi and the stars more than anything else.”

“How did they find each other?”

“How could they not have? It was inevitable. Necessary.”

The stars and the mycelium resonate as the ages roll on. Life comes into being, and the network reacts, rings, with pure tones in every octave of the spectrum. War is a rhythmic drumming; peace is a coda, or an overture. And death is percussion.

Deep in the space between the stars, there are nodes where major arteries of coiled dimensions cross and knot, just as the mycelia cross and not deeper and deeper into the intricate ground. In the space around a star-node, in the stone circles above the spore-nodes, beings dance, constituting and manifesting the thoughts of the stars, and the knowledge of the mushrooms.

“Like, faerie circles? There are … star circles of some kind, out in space?”

“There are. Things gather at them, tiny things and big things, people from planets coming in their starships, and beings that evolved there in space, floating in years-long circles on the propulsion of vast fins pushing on interstellar hydrogen.”

“That seems like something that might not be true. What if we go out in a star ship sometime, and there’s nothing like that out there?”

“There is. An endless array of them.”

“How do you know that?”

Those who dance at the nodes of the stars and the fungi, over the centuries, absorb the thinking and knowledge of the infinite universe. Whence our stories of wise ones, of wizards, of the Illuminati. Whence the yearning songs of the star-whales, of forgotten ancient wisdom, and secret covens in the darkness.

Those who evolve on planets have an affinity to the fungal nodes. Those who evolve between the stars have an affinity for the stellar nodes. They complement and complete each other.

No planetary culture is mature until it has allied with a stellar culture.

No stellar culture is mature until it has allied with a planetary culture.

“So are the, y’know, the Greys, are they visited Earth to see if we’re worthy of allying with? Are they, like, an immature steallar culture looking for a fungus-centered culture to hook up with?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? Haven’t you heard about it in the fungusvine?”

“Fungusvine, funny.”

“Myceliavine?”

Everything comes together deep down.

The semantic tendrils of the realities extend, purely by chance, into the interstices between universes. Over endless time, over expansions and collapses, rollings in and rollings out, the tendrils interact, purely by chance, and meaning begins to flow.

Knots, and knots of knots, and knots of knots of knots, forming a vast extradimensional network that binds the realities together.

Every reality is underlain by its own networks, of mycelia and gravitational strings, or aether winds and dragon spines, the thoughts of Gods and the songs of spirits, or thrint hamuges and the fletts of tintans. And the network of each reality connects to the extradimensional network, and thereby to everything else.

Every tree, stone, footstep, and every starship launch, is part of the unthinkably vast mind of the universe, heart of the universe, the sacred body of everything, in the largest sense.

“Ooh! Are there, like, reality-witches, who find notes in the network between the realities, and have dances and stuff there, and slowly gather extradimensional wisdom?”

“Of course, there are!”

“I want to be one of those.”

“Oh, you will.”

The mind, heart, interconnected web of the universe, the multiverse, thinks (and feels and knows) slowly, deliberately. For a single impulse to travel from one end to the other, if the web had ends, would take almost an eternity. But for the resonating tone, the mood, the energy fluxes, of the network to change, all over, from end to end, takes only an instant.

“Wouldn’t that violate the speed of light and all?”

“Different realities, different speed limits.”

“I don’t know, it seems like you could you that to cheat.”

“You absolutely can.”

It is a category mistake to think that because All Is One, I can make a free transcontinental phone call.

But it is universally true that the extradimensional web of interconnections holds ultimate wisdom.

You are a neuron of the multiversal Mind, you are a beat of the multiversal Heart. You resonate always in harmony with its thoughts, its knowings, its feelings. You can accept the harmony or try to reject it, and either way you are sending your signal from one reality to another, and your breathing is a message to another universe.

Fling Twenty-One

2022/07/22

A Story with NovelAI

Okay, after that last story, I thought I’d go back and take a look at NovelAI again, and remind myself why I’d stopped using it. And it turns out it’s also quite good! At least as good InferKit, I’d say, so who knows why I stopped; maybe the novelty had worn off, and now the wearing-off has worn off. Its writing, like large-language-model AI writing in general, tends toward the cliched and mediocre (thanks, Central Limit Theorem!), but it can be nudged in, and sometimes spontaneously charges off in, more interesting directions.

Because, unlike InferKit, NovelAI has visual cues for what is entered by the user and what is generated by the AI, I can see which is which, and I’ll italicize my contributions in the below. It’s nothing stunning, really, but it shows the sort of typical behavior of NovelAI, without fiddling with any of the (many, many) parameters that NovelAI offers, and it’s kind of impressive! Clearly, it contributed most of the text, with me just nudging it now and then (and hitting Retry now and then, which isn’t indicated in any way below).

Watch for the “humble abode” cliche :) and various continuity errors, and note that this is relatively short just because I stopped, and we could continue essentially forever, exploring the afterlife, the ocean, what the woman with the tail means by “get back home”, and so on…

The Witch of Sunlight

I parked my autosteamer at the ferry dock, and took the ferry out to the island where the Witch of Sunlight was supposed to live. She didn’t have a house on the beach like the other witches I’d met in this world—she had her own private island. A beautiful one, too. It was green with trees and grass everywhere you looked, and there were no cars anywhere around it.

The ferry let me off at an unremarkable stretch of white-sand beach, and I walked along it until I came across a little hut made from a combination of driftwood and palm fronds. The door was open, so I went inside.

“Hello?” I said. “Is anyone here?”

There wasn’t any response. I didn’t see anything in the room except a low table, several chairs, and some blankets spread out on the floor. There was definitely someone living here, though. It smelled like they’d just finished cooking something.

I sat down on one of the chairs and waited for a while, but nobody came to greet me. Finally I stood up and opened the door.

As soon as I did, a woman wearing a green dress stepped out from behind the hut’s wall. Her hair was long and curly, and she wore a golden necklace that hung over her chest.

“Good morning, young man,” she said. “What do you want?”

“Um… hello.”

She smiled at me. “Come in. Please take a seat.”

I followed her instructions and sat down on the chair opposite hers.

The Witch of Sunlight was pretty tall—taller than most of the women I knew. But she only had about half as much body fat as them, which made her look more slender.

“So, what brings you to my humble abode?”

“I seek wisdom,” I said. “To become stronger, I must first know how weak I am.”

The witch nodded. “You’re absolutely right. That is why I built this place on a remote island—so that people like yourself would come here to learn.”

“I’m not here to be taught, exactly. I want to fight you.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh? You mean you want to challenge me?”

“Yes.”

“Very well. What kind of battle do you wish to engage in?”

“A fight to the death, of course.”

At my words, her expression stiffened. “That is quite bold of you, child.”

“It doesn’t seem very wise to ask for something without offering anything in return, does it?”

“No, it doesn’t.”

I laughed. “Fair enough. So, what do you say?”

She nodded. “Prepare to die, then; may you be wiser in the next world.”

With that, she pulled a wooden sword from beneath her dress and held it up. In the blink of an eye, she had it pointed at my throat.

I quickly leapt back, out of range.

She smiled, and the sword emitted a beam of light that sliced through the air. When it hit the ground, a circle appeared in its center. Then she placed her foot in the hole. With a simple twist of her wrist, she turned herself into a swirling vortex of wind.

“Now!”

I ducked under the blade’s trajectory and thrust my hand forward. Wind surged forth from the tip of my hand, and blew the Witch of Sunlight’s sword away from her.

A laugh came from within the vortex of wind, and a shower of blades rained down upon me. I dodged every single one of them with ease.

“Impressive,” said the Witch of Sunlight. “How many times have you done this before?”

“Maybe once or twice. Why don’t we start with three?”

“Why not? But first, I’ll warn you, this isn’t a game. If you lose, you won’t get your life back.”

“Then I accept your terms. Let’s begin.”

We both charged at each other, weapons drawn.

The witch’s attacks consisted of nothing more than gusts of wind, so I decided to use that against her. I focused all my energy into a single blast of wind that pushed her back.

But when I did, a blinding flash filled my vision.

When I recovered, I saw that my opponent had vanished.

“Hey!” I called out, but then the witch reappeared behind me.

I turned around just in time to see her raise her sword overhead. Its blade flashed again, and I felt a sharp pain in my back.

“Urgh…”

My breath caught as I fell to the ground. My entire body ached, and I couldn’t feel my legs.

I tried to move, but I couldn’t. Something heavy pressed down on my chest.

“Have a good death,” the Witch whispered, and I felt the sharp blade pierce my heart.

***

I woke up with the sound of waves crashing nearby. When I opened my eyes, I found myself in a place I had never imagined seeing: the bottom of the ocean.

The blackness of the water was so deep that I could see nothing beyond it. It stretched on forever in either direction, and there was no sunlight anywhere.

“Is this where death has taken me?” I wondered.

Suddenly, a giant wave crashed down onto the beach, and a figure emerged from the surf. It was a woman who looked younger than me, and was dressed entirely in red. She had dark skin, long silver hair tied behind her head, and a long, graceful tail that extended from beneath her skirt.

“Greetings, boy. Who are you?”

“I’m…”

“I see. Now, tell me, what brought you here?”

“I died, that’s what! And now I’m stuck in the afterlife.”

“Ahh, yes, I know the feeling. Come closer, and I’ll help you get back home.”

I stared at her for a moment. “Are you—”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to eat you.”

She reached out her hand, and I took it. “Thanks.”

We began walking together through the endless darkness.

2022/07/18

A Story with InferKit

Long-time readers will notice that while I used to talk about and quote from GPT-3 and other generative transformer-style AIs a lot, I’ve mostly stopped doing that, and I’ve been posting AI art, and stuff not so much related to AI at all, and so on instead.

What happened?

Well, the big AI Dungeon kerfuffle happened, and that was a thing. Friend Steve points out that GPT-3 itself has been pretty openly available for months, but I haven’t signed up for that because (inter alia) they have these weird terms of service about not using it to generate certain kinds of stuff, as though one was in control of what it generates, and as though certain kinds of words are just bad to generate.

I played with NovelAI pretty regularly for awhile, but eventually sort of tailed off on doing that; I’m not entirely sure why, perhaps it sort of got old, or the engine wasn’t quite good enough, or it exposed so many interesting-looking knobs and dials that I felt like I ought to be spending more time playing with them, so I had guilt.

The other week I went back to AI Dungeon to see what was going on there, and it was really bad. Possibly I just got unlucky and wasn’t willing to spend time luring it around to a better part of parameter space, but it was also slow and somehow the interface seemed clunkier. So I stopped doing that.

Then looking through the bills the other day, I noticed that I’ve been paying money for a membership on InferKit.com, which I remembered as the monetized version of Talk to Transformer of yore, and that it had been okay but not great, maybe like GPT-2 level.

I went over to it to see if that was true, and if I could easily drop my membership and save that money, but when I tried it, it seemed to be really good! And fast, and with a very nice (if/because minimalistic) UI. I don’t know what it’s running on the back-end (I wrote their support to ask, and we’ll see if they answer), but it seems to generate quite good stuff.

And having said all of that :) here is a longish story that InferKit and I wrote recently. It feels roughly GPT-3 quality to me. I’d say InferKit wrote the majority of the actual words, including the nonsensical ones, and I wrote the ones most obviously trying to steer it in some direction (including the massive reality-altering cheat to fix the whole inter-reality war at the end there).

Readers of my AI Dungeon tales, if any, will note that the character Tanya here is not the Tanya of AI Dungeon, which due to an important piece of its specification set will imbue any character named “Tanya” with a sort of romantic strength and badassery, but just a normal person who happens to be named Tanya. And the overall theme is the “what shall we do now that we can warp reality however we like” of many of my prior explanations, and my entire 2020 NaNoWriMo novel.

It doesn’t seem to have a title in any sense; the initial prompt was “The next time the three of us met” up to and including “Tanya said”. And after that it’s all collaboration. :)

Hope you enjoy!


The next time the three of us met, it was on the long deck along the seafront, near the carnival grounds. We smiled and nodded to each other, and sat cross-legged on the dark wood planks.

“The nature of reality,” Tanya said, “is that you have to find someone else to talk to. You are only ever connected with so many people at any given time, and most of these people are in your head. It’s the solitude that makes people’s voices resonate.”

“How many friends do you have?” I asked.

She looked at me without saying anything.

“I don’t count people as friends,” she said. “They’re there.”

And then, quite suddenly, a young man who had been riding his bicycle up and down the deck leaned towards Tanya and whispered something in her ear.

“I’ve fallen in love with you!” he shouted, and jumped up and down on his bright green sneakers.

Tanya laughed, and invited him to sit with us.

“I guess we’ve found someone else to talk to!” Rainer commented.

“A lover, perhaps?” Tanya suggested.

But I was depressed.

“It’s over,” I said to Tanya.

“Who, me?” she said.

“Everything!” I shouted. “Everything is over.”

This had nothing to do with what was supposed to be our topic of conversation. But I was feeling it so strongly, I had to speak. The young man from the bicycle, now sitting awkwardly beside Tanya, opened his eyes wide as he looked at me.

“Liar!” he said.

“Liar!” I shouted, and the three of us howled in laughter.

That night, it rained hard, and we hurried back into the cabin. Rainer was on the phone all night, so Tanya and the young man (whose name was David, but which we never bothered to learn) and I sat in the cabin. They played chess.

“It’s too bad about your seminar in Paris,” David said.

“It was great,” Tanya said. “But how am I supposed to make it in the real world?”

I realized that she had stopped doing a lot of the things she was used to doing.

She had stopped ordering clothes from magazines. She had stopped trying on clothes in those tiny rooms that are in every high-end fashion store, the rooms that look like miniature apartments, with large, airy beds on the floor, and glass coffee tables under lamps, where there is no lampshade.

I found a magazine in the drawer. “What do you think of this?” I asked Tanya and David, referring again to the underlying nature of reality, and the problematic nature of perception, the nature of things that aren’t there.

I didn’t want to fall in love with her, I just wanted to know what was really going on.

“It’s all a bunch of BS,” Tanya said.

“Reality is real, though,” I said, “we have to understand it better!”

“Yeah,” Tanya said, “but I don’t see what we’re supposed to understand. It’s a mystery.”

And then she went to sleep.

Later in the evening, she jumped into the middle of the cabin, and turned off the lights, and started dancing in the dark.

David said, “I guess you can do what you want.”

He said it in German, but it sounded like a yes.

That was Tanya’s cue to get up and go to bed.

“Sorry I didn’t have time to see your painting today, but I promise to see it tomorrow.”

“We can see it together, Tanya,” I said.

I thought that would finally take care of the whole subject of her seeing the painting, which had been the thing to keep us together for the past few weeks.

Instead, she said, “I want to do this on my own.”

I didn’t say anything.

“I have to say goodbye to David now,” she said.

David opened the door, and she gave him a hug. “Take care of yourself,” she said, “watch where you bicycle.” And then she was gone.

David watched her get on her bike, and get on her way, and then go away from him.

I followed Tanya down the road to the corner. She stopped and waved.

“See you tomorrow,” she called. I waved back, and continued along into town.

That night, I heard the bicycle across the way, its wheels clicking on the asphalt, its leather seat creaking under Tanya’s weight, like the bicycle I had when I was a kid.

Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can be in other universes, and remember things that haven’t happened. I can remember my happiest childhood memories, and times that I can’t really remember.

I thought about those things, and thought about the chances I’ve taken, the things I’ve tried to learn, and how malleable reality is.

Rainer was snoring softly on the couch across the room, and when Tanya slipped in through the door and quietly came in, she didn’t wake him up.

“Did you take a lot of pictures today?” she asked.

I thought that was an odd question.

“Yes,” I said.

I didn’t mention the chess game, and the thing with David.

Tanya relaxed on the rug in the dark. “Sorry I sort of blew you off on the question about reality,” she said, “I was just impatient.”

I figured that would be it, so I kept my mouth shut.

She said, “Can I sleep here on the floor tonight?”

“What?” I said. “You’ll get sick, sleeping on the floor.”

“No, you can’t sleep on the floor, get into the bed or something, there’s lots of room.”

I just stared at her, trying to think of a way to get rid of her.

“You sleep here with me,” she said.

I thought about Tanya and me on the bed, spooning, watching the sun go down, and about the way the breeze would feel.

“Okay,” I said, finally smiling a little in the dark, “I’ll sleep here.”

We crawled under the blanket and turned away from each other.

It was a little awkward, but at least I wasn’t in that cheap futon anymore, and I got to know Tanya a little better.

In the morning over breakfast, she brought up the issue again.

“Do you really think that we can change reality just by willing it?” she asked, sipping at her tea.

“Maybe,” I said, “Maybe not.”

“So you don’t think you’re going to die any time soon, do you?”

“No,” I said, “Not yet, anyway. But that’s not the biggest question.”

“Yes,” she said.

“What’s the biggest question?”

“Is there anyone after us, after your dream? Is there anybody after me, after your dream?”

“Yeah, I think there is,” I said. “There’s somebody, there always has to be somebody.”

“But can they see us?”

“Sure, I don’t think they could see us if they didn’t already.”

“Well,” she said, “maybe we should find out. In your dream, did you ever see anyone after us? Did you see the creator, or the shaper?”

I looked at her carefully, and I could see the questions in her eyes. She’d been thinking about it, and all that would change now, now that I’d told her.

I considered for a moment what I’d said. “I don’t want everything to change,” I ventured, “because of how I answer that.”

Tanya was quiet for a minute. “What?”

“I didn’t mean to say something so dangerous,” I said.

“Why are you afraid of change?” she asked.

“Just in general,” I said, “It’s like a drug. I get used to reality flowing around me, and then I get afraid that it will all dissolve into chaos if I don’t pay attention to it. Do you know what I mean?”

“Yes,” she said, “I’m beginning to understand.”

I didn’t reply immediately, and we just sat together, with the surf rolling gently outside the window. Rainier went to the old piano and began to play something classical, and Tanya just sat there, with her coffee cup, watching him.

Then she said, “Do you think we’re going to die?”

I hadn’t really been expecting that.

“Probably not,” I said. “I mean, our minds wouldn’t go into any reality in which we died, unless they wanted to. Don’t you think?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I feel like I know you, but I don’t. If you died, I’d be a little afraid, but I’d be like a normal person. If you didn’t have to die, I wouldn’t know what to do, I think.”

“Would you really be just like a normal person?” I smiled, teasing her.

“Probably not. But I’d be scared.”

We talked about it for a while longer, about our lives and futures, about why we lived, why we were living.

Then the rain began to fall harder outside, and we three all stood by the window, just looking out. I found it heartbreakingly lovely, countless raindrops just falling, with no plan or name or concern.

······

Some people like to describe death as a few minutes of darkness, and then everything that has any color is gone, and it’s gone forever. I thought that was a pretty ghastly way to put it, myself.

I thought about taking Tanya and Rainier and any of the others to a glorious Palace of Death in some elaborate afterlife. Would that be the end of my life?

After a while, I realized that my life would never go back to what it had been before, because I knew the truth of what a human being is and of what it is to be alive. And I liked the idea.

Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out a ruby necklace for Tanya, and a small silver whistle for Rainier, and some information cards, with contact information for the refuge. I told them that if they should ever need to call for help, or needed to contact any of us, that this was where they could find the center of the circle.

“Wow,” said Tanya, “that’s really beautiful. I’ve always wanted one of these.”

I put it around her neck, and stepped back to admire the effect. Rainier smiled his gratitude, and played a high piping tune on the silver whistle.

“Gifts from the interstices of reality,” I said, and we all smiled.

We parted with each other again, feeling more confident about our place in this world than we had for a long time.

Being grateful doesn’t do anything, and being envious doesn’t, either. We are each made of space and time, and part of space is where the things we like are. We can never truly be ungrateful, but we can try to express our gratefulness, even if we can never be grateful enough for the infinite gifts we’ve been given.

I walked through the grounds of the abbey, smiling at the young novices who bowed as I passed, and at the occasional cat that scuttled out from behind a tree, curious to see who had stopped to watch it eat.

Why hadn’t I done this before? Maybe for the same reason it took so long for the three of us to understand that we were in a place that no one had ever visited before, and that everyone who came after would never find again. Or maybe it was simply that it was so beautiful that I couldn’t bear the thought of losing it.

“Don’t let fear of loss prevent you from appreciating what you have, while you have it,” Sister Victoria said, kneeling beside me in the little side-chapel. “Even when it’s clear that it’s gone.”

“Are you saying this is it, then?” I asked, gazing up at her.

She nodded, looking down at the still shape of me. “You were blessed by the Mother, and sent here for all of us. The road behind us vanishes forever, and the road ahead always approaches. This is love.”

“I’ve never heard of this before,” I said, “but you make it sound like I’m going to be around for a long time.”

“For a long time,” Sister Victoria said, smiling, “or longer than you might have imagined. You may not always be here, but we will always be here for you.”

She gestured at the stone shelves.

“These are where all of the writings of the order are kept,” she said. “And they will grow with you.”

I glanced down. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go there.

“You don’t have to do this,” I said, uncertain. “You can walk away.”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t?” she asked, incredulous. “That I should just abandon you when you are in need?”

“I was thinking of leaving, anyway,” I said.

“Then you wouldn’t want me to give you an object of power,” she said. “Or a spell that will protect you when you need it.”

I hesitated. It had felt like something of a dare.

“You are loved, Cerebra,” she said. “Even if the rest of the order doesn’t see it. You cannot be isolated. You need the community. Let yourself feel it. The next part of the road will come before you can even think to leave it.”

I took her words to heart, walking with her as she showed me all of the different places in the archives where the minutes of the grand council meetings had been recorded, from earlier than anyone remembered.

I turned to Sister Victoria gratefully. “I owe a great deal to you, and to the Abbey, for support in my wanderings. You’ve given me the courage to go on. I’m not alone anymore.”

“And I want to help you pay back what you’ve done for us,” she said. “In the days to come, we’ll meet to talk about what might be done. But for now, you need to rest, and the only place I know where the safe for you is is right here.”

She took me to a modest room off of the library corridor, with a shelf and a small bed, and I put down my things. I felt happy and light just to be in a place that had existed, once, long ago.

I was up before the sun the next morning. I had an urge to watch the dawn, and it seemed that Sister Victoria was as well. I walked her back to the chapel for the third time, and we stood in silence in the quiet presence of the morning. I looked at her wise quiet face and wondered if she could tell me the secret of her stillness.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “The next time we meet, you’ll be the one teaching me. And I can’t help you.”

“I’m sorry too,” I said, feeling boh joy and sorrow, “but also glad.”

She stepped back to allow me passage into the library, and I left the archive with the heavy conviction that I would be safe and that I would survive the darkening days ahead.

*

An hour later, I sat in front of the parchment and began to write. I had considered leaving the map to Sister Victoria to make no more notes on its fate, and I didn’t want to bother my mother with the errand either. So I carefully wrote my own notes, and then filed the map away, back in the archives.

I packed my bag again, stopped by the Abbey commissary to take some bread and apples for the trip, and set off on the open road, back to Rome.

It was as I was taking a sharp turn onto the main road out of Rome that a rider approached from behind, a courier. He was an older man, in a greyed and worn black uniform, but his head was gleaming in the morning light, and his face was sharp and alert. His horse was well-bred, and he wore a plain white armband with the Christian cross.

“Good morning, Mister Clovis,” he said.

“And Good Morning to you, my good man,” I replied, going to stand next to his horse. “What do you have for me?”

He reached into his saddlebag and brought out a roll of parchment, carefully wrapped with wax, and then handed it over. I opened it, and read the text over once before I unfolded it.

“My dear, Cerebra, how strange,” my mother said, after I had finished reading. “This is the exact order that has been sent to the Abbess, about the elimination of the Foreigners in Rome.”

I put down the parchment and looked at my mother, shocked.

“I don’t understand,” I said, confused. “They’re doing what they’re supposed to be doing. What do you mean, they are ‘eliminating’ foreigners?”

“I believe that the Abbey will be taking care of them,” my mother said. “Their provisions have been filled with grain, seeds, oil and salt. Their rooms and showers have been made ready, and their last journey to the door of the Temple may be hastened by the passage of those remaining soldiers in the barracks.”

I felt the truth of her words, but wondered at the underlying meaning. “So all of the foreigners in Rome in this reality, are being sent through the Portal in the Temple of Artemis?” I asked her. “But it will take them hours to get to Constantinople. Why send the order so quickly?”

My mother smiled and nodded.

“It’s called ‘progress’, Mister Clovis,” she said. “It’s what’s going to take the world over, over the next twenty years. But this is just the beginning.”

I remembered her smile when she had first explained about the Cathedral, and I thought again of the letter she had read.

“Mother,” I said seriously, “is this the sort of kindness that the world will expect from the Empire now? I cannot approve of a forced relocation like this, progress or no!”

She looked at me thoughtfully. “What you describe, Mister Clovis, is a cultural revolution,” she said. “And it’s all part of an apocalyptic vision, of melding the minds of man and beast, of conquest, and creation. The balance of power has been disrupted. It is the most appropriate time to move to this new reality.”

*

After I had finished writing my mother, and she had finished reading my notes, she told me what the letter to the Abbess had said.

“I wish it were not true, Mister Clovis, but the Abbess said that it was necessary to do this, to integrate new populations into the Empire. The Empire is expanding, in a rapid rate. The people of Earth must be considered an integral part of our Imperial State, in order to avoid the maladies of xenophobia and racism. We have endured past horrors, Mr. Clovis, horrors that should never have been. The state of our planet is at a perilous moment, and the time has come for drastic measures. It is very fortunate, that we have such good friends as the Abbey. They will help to alleviate the suffering of these people. And in return, we will assist in spreading this program of compassion and tolerance throughout the Empire.”

My mother sat then in silence. I wondered why she addressed me as Mister Clovis. We had been so close in earlier years, I still longed to embrace her, and forget all of the intricacies of rulership and international politics. But she stared at me, her face expressionless. After some moments, she finally said, “There is something else that I think you should know, Mister Clovis. This is a matter of great gravity, which you must consider carefully.”

I waited a few seconds. “What is it, Mother?”

“Your father, Mister Clovis,” she said, with a glance at my ink-stained shirt. “I am aware that you have been the object of gossip and conjecture in recent weeks, and I must tell you that they are all true. It has come to my attention that you are the product of an extramarital affair, by one of your father’s mistresses. She is a member of an ancient family in Argentina. Your father has been faithful to me, to his family, to the Empire. And I have never had an affair with him.”

I could not help but smile at this piece of absurdity. “Are you saying, Mother, that I am not the true fruit of your womb? But that is absurd!” I told her, by way of celebration. “One of my father’s mistresses is an innocent by-stander who did not participate in the affairs of men. That I am the child of a liaison between one of the highest-ranking womanizers in the Empire, and one of the lowest-ranking womanizers in our territories, is an insult to all the women of the Empire, and it is quite something that the rumor has gone so far.”

My mother smiled at me and nodded. “As is often the case, Mister Clovis,” she said, “there are things you do not know. What you must do is think through what it means. And your father will probably be pleased with what I have told you, as it will justify a lot of things, in his eyes. He will, of course, go through an investigation to make sure that this is true. I have no reason to disbelieve the Abbess. She has given me a lot of information. You will do as I have said, and think it over.”

I studied my mother’s face, for the first time since I had heard the news. I think she had hoped that I would be upset, that she would have some explanation that would heal the wounds of a family. But I had been brought up to think for myself. I was a child of the Empire, and I would be my own person, in this reality or any other.

I leaned forward and kissed her cheek by way of answer, and returned to the sunlit road. I felt bad for my mother, and regretted the fact that I would be leaving her. But she understood my need for independence. She was proud of me, for I had shown courage and determination in dealing with my father, which was not something that even my mother could boast about, and which she would not do without feeling some measure of guilt. But I was not staying to punish her, nor to repay her, and she knew that.

The road led from the Abbey to the town of Escardes. As I was leaving, I saw some of my siblings standing on the rampart, watching me go. They gave me a knowing wave, and I waved back. I would miss them, and their faces, and their laughter, and their mischief.

I looked up at the sky, and wished that I was a bird, that I could fly with the breeze. I started to whistle a gentle tune as I walked away.

I reached Escardes in the evening, and settled myself in its main Inn, which had on its sign a BIrd and Candle. In the inn’s common room, I heard my name called, and was surprised to see Tanya, in dusty travel clothes, sitting with a mug of ale by the fire.

“Hey, cousin!” she said.

“Tanya!” I said. “I am so glad to see you.” I went to her, and we hugged each other, and then hugged and kissed each other again. I sat down next to her, and we looked at each other with wide smiles.

“And how did you come to this particular branch of reality?” I asked her after we had both had large swallows of the Inn’s ale.

“I have just spent the last three weeks in this alternate reality, before I decided to return here,” she told me. “This other reality is a peaceful, happy place, with magic and interesting wizards, even if the people are a little odd. But I wanted to come back here, where there is also magic, but where the people are not as nice, because I miss you. I know my parents never liked you much.”

I laughed. “They never did! They considered me a doubtful and corrupting influence, I think.”

Tanya was confused. “How are you here, then?”

I told her about the abbess’ prophecy.

“This all makes sense!” she exclaimed. “The fact that the historical reality has been overwritten by this new history. And now, you are also missing. This is wonderful!”

“To being missing!” I toasted, and we clinked our mugs together. “But here’s the thing.” I paused to think. “I need to tell you something.”

Tanya gave me a knowing look, and nodded.

“As it turns out,” I started, “there is a war brewing between different factions of people. They are like humans, except that they use magic, and they have no concept of what purity of blood is. Some of them think that they are better than humans, and that they are destined to rule. That’s in this particular timeline, and it’s kind of vexing, I think.”

Tanya was confused, but nodded.

“Well, some of them want to take this war to the future, to the end of the universe.”

Tanya and I looked at each other in astonishment.

“And, there is another faction, which is not interested in war,” I said.

Tanya frowned. “You mean that they are not warlike?”

“Yeah, that’s what I mean.”

Tanya nodded. “What happens then?”

“Nothing good, I’m afraid.” I said. “They have advanced weapons, and they have a great deal of magical power, and it is getting dangerous. The warlords in this warring universe want to wipe out this universe, just to make sure that they never have to deal with these people again. They are talking about wiping out life as we know it, including my current timeline. But in fact, they won’t really succeed. All of this happens because of the abbess. She has helped to instill hatred in both universes.”

“The abbess is the one who told you that we were never destined to be mates.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, they are never destined to be mates, she said. But maybe she’s evil after all!”

“I think so,” I said. “In fact, I think she is evil. She has power over this universe, and she wants it for herself. It’s not just because she wants to rule, though, it’s because she wants to get revenge on the world that stole her beloved pet dog.”

“The bear thing?”

“Yeah.” I said. “I met the abbess in the year 3184 A.D., and she was holding a very large black bear, as big as an elephant. It was really something! I think that animal is the semantic crux-point for this whole bundle of related realities. It’s really rather messy.”

Tanya finished her mug and signaled for another, and when she brought it, I drank. I felt warm inside.

And then, without warning, it occurred to me. “You think that I’m descended from the ‘bear thing’?” I asked.

Tanya looked at me with raised eyebrows, and laughed loudly. “That would just make everything perfect, wouldn’t it? You being descended from the bear, and us being right here together!”

“It’s not only possible,” I said, “but I really think it’s likely.”

Tanya sighed. “So, this war, then?” she asked. “How do we stop it?”

“I don’t know!” I said. “Maybe we should just leave this universe alone and stop fighting. They are all dead anyway, right?”

Tanya nodded her head slowly, and looked at me in a serious manner. “Well, what if they weren’t? What if they came back?”

I blinked, and frowned. “What do you mean?”

Tanya took my hands in hers, and looked me in the eye. “I’m not kidding, Roland. Imagine. You and I were born a couple of thousand years ago. That means that we should be dead now. We’re not.”

I just stared at her, then I began to smile.

“This is why I’ll always love you,” I told her. We put on our Royal Robes, and opening a portal in the wall of the room, we strode out into the Holy Square of the Imperial City, to the wild cheers and adulation of the crowd. The war was over, the Abbess’s mind had been healed, and all of the casualties returned to robust and boisterous life.

I wondered if we had just prevented a lot of suffering in the universe, but I put that thought aside, because I was happy.

So much for that mystery, I thought. I’m not going to chase it anymore. I turned to Tanya. “Shall we go back to the beach?” I suggested, “maybe Rainier has something new to play for us.”

“Yes, that would be nice,” she agreed.

And, as we walked back to the City with the sound of the surf in our ears, we contemplated how we might spend the rest of our time on the island.

—–

“I’ve been working on materializing things in my pockets,” Rainier said as we sat on the surf-damp rocks above the beach. “I’m getting pretty good at it, but you still do better. I think that you could just show up anywhere in the universe if you really wanted to, but it’s harder for me. If I really need something, I can just go find it.”

I gazed around, and watched as Rainier flew up into the sky, and flew back down with something in his hand. I had a good idea what it was.

I broke the arrowhead out of its case. The stone inside the ancient glass shell was mostly translucent green, like moss. A section of the leaf was intact, and the petals on the branches were still lit. The grass was a bit wilted, I noticed, but the little moss was firm and green. A piece of mussel shell still dangled from the wound of the stone.

I lit the mussel shell and placed it in my palm.

“Very nice!” I said to Rainier, “why did you need to fly up high to get it, do you think?”

“Because I always have something in my pocket,” Rainier replied.

I turned to Tanya, who smiled.

“Would you like to try it, Roland?” Tanya asked. “I know you’re very good with your hands.”

I winked at her, and then reached into my pocket and brought out a small statue of a group of bears, the little ones all snuggled in with their sleeping mother, carven in volcanic black rock. It looked harmless enough, but it was heavier than it looked. I held it in my hand, and then took a deep breath.

The statue melted and was replaced with a high grade concentrated air crystal, about as big as a tennis ball, that could be blown as hard as I could blow. It had an embedded compass, and a glowstone for navigation, both buried in the crystal.

“How’s that?” I asked, proudly showing the object off to Tanya and Rainier. “It’s more than a little power, Tanya.”

She didn’t look all that impressed, but she did nod.

“All right, I guess that’s enough show and tell for today,” I said. “I need to talk to Rainier some more.”

And so we sat by the surf, our shoulders touching, my head leaned against Rainier’s shoulder, while I held my toy. It was a world of calm and love, with gentle rolling waves, and the beach surrounded by a huge blue and green world of clouds and sky.

Tanya and I exchanged glances, and then I felt it again.

Rainier’s love, his soul, my soul, joined together in the most natural of ways. And I knew we had found the true home.

And for that moment, we were one.

2021/02/04

Completely Human

The angel followed the single silver airplane with his eyes, until it faded out of sight behind the hills across the bay. Then he took up his drink again, and turned back to me, to pick up the conversation where we’d left it.

I was struck again by how ordinary he looked, how completely human in every way except that, looking at him, you knew instantly and beyond any doubt that he was an angel.

“So in Heaven,” he said, “you become exactly as you have always known yourself to be, exactly as you have pictured yourself, treated yourself, exactly as you expect yourself to be.”

I looked over his shoulder, past the balcony railing, across the sun-washed water.

“And Hell?” I asked.

The angel nodded, as though agreeing with me.

“The same.”


That story (summary) that I posted yesterday got me to thinking about other very short fictions that I’ve written and posted (or not) in various places (or none) over the decades, and I went looking around on the old weblog, and found this one that I’d entirely forgotten.

I like it.

2021/02/03

A Nice Big Computronium Fractal

So I had a dream the other night. And the next morning I wrote on The Twitters:

Now this isn’t the dream (I don’t remember the dream well enough), but it’s the outline of a story inspired by and loosely based on the dream.

It started with the pair of portals behind the commune building, just outside Frankie’s kitchen.

“So, these are, like, portals to a simulation of the world?”

“Is that what they’re saying?” Frankie said, wiping his hands on his apron, “Yeah, sure, a simulation.”

He had a funny expression on his face, like he was surprised, but not surprised, more like maybe resigned or something, but also happy, or relieved.

“Why are there two?”

“One going, and one coming back.”

So we went through the “going” portal, and from the other side it was more obvious, because that side of the portals were swinging “Enter” and “Exit” doors from this big sort of grocery store or convenience store or supermarket or whatever. And the simulation, we thought, was a simulation of the world where corporations had taken over everything, and this particular chain of stores was the main Dictator of the World, and we were employees like everyone else, and expected to follow the rules and wear the uniform and do the required things of the day.

We escaped back out through the exit portal, but this stocky lady from Store Security followed us out and collared us just as Frankie came out of his kitchen. We expected him to help us escape from her, but instead they had a conversation that was really hard to understand, but the conclusion was for some reason that she was going to be allowed to take us back, for a year, “to see how it works out”.

We appealed to Frankie as she dragged us back through the portal, and he looked sympathetic but somehow unworried, like he’d like to indulge our silly objections to being dragged back to the corporate-hell simulation, but really couldn’t.

The Store Security lady was actually pretty nice, and sort of took us under her wing, in a gruff way. She assured us that everything was going fine, by pointing through the portal and saying, “See? The future is great. It’s like a paradise up there. So nothing is messed up by your being here.”

The future? But wait, so the portals don’t lead to some little simulated universe at all, but to the past? And how can some big world-spanning corporate dystopia be in the past? Shouldn’t that be in the future, if anything?

She shakes her head and says something about how little you kids know about reality.

We all live like in the basement of the store when we aren’t on shift, and it’s sort of a hovel, and there are security robots watching us, but there’s also this strange drug that comes as a yellow crust on these like wheat cakes or something, and we eat that and it’s wild and trippy and satisfying. And we find some obscure or secret or hidden areas of the basement, and there’s another drug that’s just the same except that it’s pink instead of yellow, and it’s an aphrodisiac as well as a psychedelic, and so there are big and very surreal orgies among all of the store staff, and that’s nice.

Various of us explore the basement and attached cavern system and have various adventures which are either real or drug-induced, and talk about time-travel and self-fulfilling prophecies, and then we break out of the caverns into the open air, and we’re running down this slope, and I open my arms and say something along the lines of…

This is the place where in the future, when all matter is subsumed into a vast computronium fractal and we are all uploaded, and are masters of time and space, I will loop back into the past and push through the fractal seed, remaking reality!

And that turned out to be true. So the sky opened and a glistening shard of fractal computronium from the future pushed through, and all of the matter that it touched was converted in a glittering wave that consumed the entire planet, and you wouldn’t notice at all unless you wanted to, but if you wanted to you could see all of time and space laid out before you, and commune with every other mind that ever had been or would come to be. Which was pretty neat.

After a few centuries of this we settled into some more or less familiar and fixed structures of reality for awhile, just for fun, and we set up a commune, and called ourselves Frankie in honor of Frankie, and cooked for everyone because cooking is also fun. And we investigated time and space and reality and left a couple of interesting portals that we’d been working on out behind the building.

And then one day when one of the kids in the fractal computronium commune reality came up and said “So these are, like, portals to a simulation of the world?” it wasn’t like we had to say certain things in response, but we did, and it was overall a nice feeling.

The End.

Kind of fun! The world being converted into a big computronium fractal that we all live inside of in indescribable but desirable ways is something of a trope in my dreams (and elsewhere).

2014/07/29

Sulsul!

The Sims 2First the Urgent Thing! If you are a (Windows-using) Sims 2 fan and you don’t have absolutely all of the expansion packs, you can install EA’s “Origin” client and go to “My Account” or whatever and then “Redeem Code” or whatever, and enter (holding your nose) “I-LOVE-THE-SIMS” to get the Sims 2 Ultimate Whatever added to your list of downloadable things, and then you can download it.

Free! But This Month Only! Which is almost over!

Thanks to the reader who posted this information over on the About page, which we’d sort of forgotten we had. It sounds like some kind of scam, but apparently it is For Real, as evidenced by an official EA page saying it and all.

Some less-than-wonderful things:

  • Nothing for the Mac (all the Mac Sims 2 stuff was done by Aspyr, and doesn’t seem to be under any active curation),
  • EA are doing this because they are basically withdrawing and unsupporting all Sims 2 stuff, because they want to chug heartlessly ahead with Sims 3 and Sims 4, the meanies; and
  • The version of the Sims 2 Ultimate Whatever that you can get for free comes with the SecuRom DRM, installed also for free. This does not actually bother me much, but I can imagine it bothering other persons.

But anyway! Go and get it right now! If you want to!

It is likely that the person who posted the news to us found us in the first place because of our ancient obsession with Sims 2 storytelling, which apparently occupied lots of our time in like 2005 and 2006.

Having now gotten All of the Sims 2 Expansion Packs, and them having installed correctly onto the laptop here, I thought I would actually find the old Neighborhood One save files, and see if they would actually work.

It turned out that there was something very promising-looking already right here on the laptop, probably copied over from the previous laptop or something. I made yet another copy, from the Sims 2 directory into the Sims 2 Ultimate Whatever directory, and fired up the game, and there was Neighborhood One! As of some time or other in the past, anyway (see below).

Neighborhood One

(Click through for a description of the neighborhood per the image.)

I zoomed around the overhead view, and loaded up the Test House in Build Mode just to make sure that worked. Then I actually went into Joan and Peran‘s house, remembering vaguely that since there’s just the two of them, it might be a simple family to run for a bit to make sure it actually works.

I’d forgotten Joan is pregnant!

And then I very very vaguely remembered seeing Joan deliver a baby in that house, which if true would mean that there’s a more recent copy of the neighborhood save files somewhere. Yow! I might accidentally fork reality!

Places where such a newer old copy of Neighborhood One might be would include:

  • The hard-drive from the prior laptop, which can’t be powered up while in the prior laptop anymore (the prior laptop having a broken power-thing), but which is readable via a clever SATA-to-USB device. It turns out not to have anything that looks like the Neighborhood One save files on it, though, that I could find.
  • The old desktop computer in the playroom. It hasn’t worked for some time, and when the hard drive is removed and hooked up to the SATA-to-USB device, it doesn’t come to life. If Dad were around he could probably talk me through opening up the hard drive case and carefully giving the platter a little spin and then closing it up again; which he always said would fix at least half of all broken hard drives. I suppose I might find a YouTube video or something showing how to do that someday, but not today!
  • An old Seagate Free Agent external USB drive that we “backed up” some of the stuff on that old computer onto. When wired up, it just makes an unpromising ticking noise, and doesn’t present any data either. Someday maybe I will take that out of its case, attach it to the SATA-to-USB device, etc. But not today…
  • This 3TB Western Digital “MyCloud” (gag what a name) that I had entirely forgotten we had on the network here, and which contains a backup of tons of stuff that was on the old playroom machine, including a “The Sims 2” directory, but unfortunately the directory is empty, boo.

So that didn’t work out. Maybe this copy of the save files is in fact the most recent. Or not!

Not sure yet what I’m going to do about it; so far I’ve just been playing an EA-supplied character (Julien Cooke) in an EA-supplied neighborhood (ummm something Green something or something) to work on my Sims 2 skills a little. I don’t want to actually run this Neighborhood One yet until I’m satisfied that I won’t find a newer one sometime and be all disturbed by the forking (which one would be Canon???).

But one thing I could do without danger of reality forks is to post a few of the stories that are sitting in the save files as pictures, but that have never been posted! Joan and Peran moving out of Rooms to Let, for instance, and into this very fancy house that I built them:

Joan and Peran's House -- the Library

It is a very dreamy house (the upstairs is like solid library ooohhh), and it looks to me like the story of their moving out and into it (and Joan becoming pregnant) has never been told.

So I might do that!

But probably don’t hold your breath. :)

Just in case…

2014/01/31

But it’s not that simple

On Twitter I follow a few rational-seeming right-wing types, to try to avoid the echo-chamber effect, and yesterday one of them posted about the big kerfuffle where MSNBC implied that the Right Wing might not like interracial marriage, saying how offensive it was and all.

I replied, as one does, saying that, um well, isn’t disliking interracial marriage sort of a Right Wing thing, after all? One of the other people in the thread gasped at how horribly offensive I was being, and we went back and forth a little with me trying to suggest that certain attitudes about race really are, as a matter of historical fact, associated with certain political factions, and they (from my point of view) ducked and weaved a little and then got quiet. I was really impressed, though, with how thoroughly the person seemed to live in a world where interracial marriage (and maybe even same-sex marriage) weren’t a right-left issue at all, and right wing racism was just an offensive myth.

In trying to decide whether to follow this person also, I looked at their earlier “tweets” (and ultimately decided not to follow them), one of which was something that reminded me strongly of the kind of thing that I might have posted like 25 years ago myself, if posting was something people did then, back when I still identified as Libertarian.

And since I seem to be never getting around to that Grand Unified Why I Am Not A Libertarian Anymore posting, I thought I’d at least post about this.

The “tweet” in question was an image, one of those “image that is basically just text” images that social media so loves. It said:

The Rich Man, the Poor Man, and the Politician
A Tale of Income Inequality

There is a rich man and a poor man.
The rich man makes $1000 a day.
The poor man makes $10 a day.
The difference in their income is $1000 – $10 = $990 a day.

The rich man builds a factory.
Now the rich man makes $2000 a day.
He gives the poor man a job at the factory.
Now the poor man makes $100 a day.
The difference in their income is $2000 – $100 = $1900 a day.

A politician decides the “income gap” has grown too large.
He taxes the rich man $1000 a day, gives it to the poor man.
The rich man can no longer afford to run the factory.
He closes the factory. The poor man loses his job.

Everything is as it was before.
And the politician takes credit for “closing the income gap”.

This is a cute Just So story, very typical of, maybe even a little more complex than, the average Libertarian Just So story.

But, like all of them, it leaves out so much that it ends up pretty much completely irrelevant to reality.

These people really need to read “The Jungle” or something.

But short of that, here’s a slightly more realistic version of the story.

The Rich Man, the Poor Man, and the Politician
A Tale of Inequality

There is a rich man and a poor man.
The rich man makes $1000 a day.
The poor man makes $10 a day.
The difference in their income is $1000 – $10 = $990 a day.

The rich man builds a factory.
Now the rich man makes $20,000 a day.
He gives the poor man a job at the factory.
Now the poor man makes $100 a day.
The difference in their income is $20000 – $100 = $19900 a day.

The rich man’s factory pollutes the air that the poor man breathes.
The products the factory produces are poorly-made.
The poor man’s working conditions are dangerous and unhealthy.
The health insurance the poor man buys from the rich man’s insurance company
will drop him on a technicality if he gets sick.
Once he’s too old to work, he will have nothing.
Taking into account actual quality of life and not just money,
The difference in their income is $20,000 – $5 = 19,995 a day.

A politician decides there is too much “inequality”.
He taxes the rich man $8,000 a day, and the government uses that:
To enforce laws on clean air, product safety, and working conditions.
Not to mention Obamacare. :)
To provide the poor man with Social Security.
And to prevent unfair labor practices.
The poor man joins the union and his pay rises to $200 a day.
The rich man can still afford to run the factory;
after all he’s still making $11,800 a day.
Taking into account actual quality of life and not just money,
The difference in their income is $11,800 – $200 = 11,600 a day.

Which is still quite a lot, but
the politician can take some credit for “reducing inequality”.
And things are generally fairer and cleaner.

Sadly that second one won’t really fit on a Twitter placard…

2013/08/07

Mach’s Principle

I wrote my 750 words again! (Answers to even-numbered exercises are in the back of the book.)

The blinking light on the side of your laptop computer actually represents the average heartbeat of every human on Earth who is within one mile of a monitoring node.

Which is approximately 45% of the population of the planet.

Most of the time it is rock-steady, as any excitement in one heart, or in one group of hearts, is exactly balanced through the vast mushy laws of large numbers, by the ebbing of excitement in the same number of hearts elsewhere.

And vice-versa.

But on some days, if you are watching the blinking light as I often do, you will notice it slowly subtly down, or speeding suddenly up, as somewhere there is a large anomaly, a sudden gasping, a thrill, an excitement, in the entire population of a small city in Rawanda, or every Girl Scout in the USA; or somewhere else an entire continent goes to bed, and on the other side of the world, due to an international holiday, their usual counterbalancers are sleeping in.

Because, vast and sprawling and numerous though we are, humanity is still finite. There are only so many left-handed people, only so many people about to open a soda can, only so many Lutherans. The number of religious sects is large, but smaller than the number of grains of sand on the beach, which is smaller than the number of atoms in one grain of sand, which is smaller than the number of possible Sudoku grids, which is itself still finite, and so smaller than nearly all of the positive integers.

Looking down Platform 29, across all those people waiting patiently, or impatiently, for the 6:45 to arrive, and thinking that each of them has a history, and a set of beliefs, a complicated web of preferences and fears, we are already far beyond the vastness that any one of us can comprehend (one, two, three, seven, many), but if all of those people were to vanish suddenly, spirited off by aliens or vaporized by more mundane means, the size of the world as a whole would be reduced by only an imperceptible fraction.

So your laptop’s light blinks, almost always, at the same steady pace, as all of our hearts (or the hearts of all of us within one mile of a monitoring node), average out into a signal with just one bit of content (“still the same, still the same, still the same”); all the complexity nicely smoothing out, a hill here balanced by a valley there, a hundred orgasms in one set of college dorms nicely making up for a hundred hearts drifting off to sleep in another set one time zone away.

Take a breath. Feel yourself breathing, and what it feels like to breathe. Feel yourself thinking, and what it feels like to think. If you are worried, feel what it feels like to worry. Feel your own heartbeat slowing. Look at the reflection of the blinking light on the Ethernet connector, or the shiny tabletop, or your fingernail. As your heart slows down, imagine that you can see the light slowing down, by the smallest imaginable amount.

Imagine that you can feel, somewhere deep in your gut or your inner ear, the Earth turning under you, and the stars whirling around.

It the Earth turning, or the stars? We know, these days, that motion in a straight line is relative; that jogger is the one who is moving, and I on the park bench here with my peanuts am the one sitting still, only because the math is simpler that way; but either one might be true. It’s not so simple for rotation, though, for things spinning around. Ernst Mach thought, at least if we listen to Einstein (and we might as well, since we listened to him on that whole “motion in a straight line” thing), that the universe has a large-scale structure (large as large, larger than anything), that determines what counts as spinning and what doesn’t; but I hear down at the corner pub that this is not true in all solutions to the field equations.

Feel your breath, and what it is like to breathe. Feel your heart beating, and what it is like to have a heart, beating. Watch the blinking light, and feel your heart beating with all of the other hearts (the ones within a mile of a monitoring node). Feel the Earth turning under you, and the stars whirling around you (with or without closed timelike curves). Be still.

2013/08/05

It was a red beach ball

I wrote my 750 words again! Haven’t done that in months.

And they sort of hold together (I wanted to avoid the “write 750 more or less random words as wordily as possible” effect this time, but still without taking much time or with the internal editor very active).

For what it’s worth…

In London, it was a red beach-ball, thrown over the heads of the crowds of commuters coming out of the underground station early on a Monday morning, and kept bouncing up in the air for long minutes by a few hundred different hands. All brimming with warm and vulnerable cells.

In Lisbon, it was a broken crate of plastic-wrapped tee shirts for a popular Indy band, left by the side of a building.

In New York, it was the liquid dripping from a hole in a black plastic trashbag swaying in the grip of a shabby man walking from Harlem to downtown and back over the course of the day, stopping for sandwiches, occasionally muttering to himself.

In the high Arctic, it was an explosion, a large one, that flung a quantity of earth and snow and other things into the air, where it was picked up by currents and flowed down in a dissipating waves around the globe.

Any of these things, by itself, could have started an epidemic, sparked chaos, begun the end. None of them did. All of them, together, pushed something subtler over the edge, and a dozen people, initially scattered around the world, began to see differently.

They would talk about it, sometimes, later on, up in one of their satellites circling in the airless sky, or sitting a late watch with the humming patient machines in some sub-basement in a secret room under an obscure street.

“Was it just a coincidence?”

“Was it something that would have happened, had to happen, eventually, and that was just when the day that it did?”

“Did someone, or something, plan it, intend it, make it happen, in a way that, despite it all, we just can’t see? Even though as far as we know we can see everything.”

What do you see? Whether your eyes are open or closed, whether it is dark or light, chances are that you see just whatever photons happen to hit your retina, and then whatever labels the quite dark parts of your brain sticks on to them automatically, so you see a redness that is (probably) a box, and you see things that are (probably) your hands, and probably a bus, and most likely the street.

And, as far as anyone knows, as far as they know even, that is mostly all that any of them saw, either, before that day. Most of them (ten of the twelve, if you were to pin them down and dig into the question) had had times, more or less brief, flashes where they saw more in the world than that. Where things came together and impressed themselves on them in a different way.

But then so had thousands of others, even just that same year, and none of them went over the edge on that day, or on any day since.

No unusual contaminants leaked from that bag, or spun wetly from that bouncing ball, spread with those gradually and guiltily unwrapped shirts, or flew into the sky from the high Arctic. But they could have, and that potential spread, and those four webs of spreading potential somehow came together in a dozen points in the world, in a dozen people, and they changed.

Were there more points, more knots in that global web of spreading might-have-beens, where if there had been a person that person might also have been changed, Changed, and become one of the twelve. Probably there were. They would know, but they are not telling.

What is it like, to see the world directly as connected bundles of meaning? To see potentials and relations directly, rather than colors and shapes and probable labels? They have tried, some of them, to describe it and write it down. Four of them have even published books, but they are generally acknowledged to be opaque, more or less incomprehensible. Two of them are highly regarded as poetry, and one is still being analyzed as a possible cryptogram.

More of them have written, or crafted, or constructed, internal memos, stored in their own network of computers, available onto to each other. These may be more successful, although they are surely less necessary.

When you can see it directly, what need for words?

What would you have done, if you had been one of the twelve? It’s impossible to say, of course, without being one of them. Even knowing oneself deeply, as who of us really does, it’s impossible to say how you would have reacted, without knowing what you would have seen. And they are still not telling us, for whatever reason, just what it is that they have seen.

This was partly inspired, I think, by Embassytown, which I recently finished and keep meaning to do some sort of writeup of, and which is also the reason I posted that old micro of mine the other day.

Semantics everywhere! :)

2013/03/03

Days of splines and toeses

So in the morning when I wake up I am vaguely surprised to find that once again I am in the same bed and the same room, the same universe, as when I went to sleep.

’cause it seems like a big coincidence!

But, it occurs to me, that’s not necessarily what’s happening; memory is just as unmoored as immediate experience.

Maybe tomorrow morning I will wake up in my nest, surrounded by M and our other flock-group members, curled up in our diaphanous salmon-colored leaves, stretch and yawn, attach the platinum blades to my hind set of legs in case of hungry sleet-flies en route, and fly off to work, thinking all the while that it’s funny I’ve woken up yet again in the same nest, in the same mile-high tree, that I went to sleep in last night.

The King’s Country, as the royal precincts with their streets and shops and storehouses have come to be called over the paranoid years, is saturated with security, and eye-patches.

In order to present a disadvantage to anyone who might mean ill toward the monarch, anyone entering is given a tight black eye-patch, and must wear it over one eye as long as they remain within the walls.

A one-eyed man came to the Gate to King’s Country one autumn afternoon, upon a commission to repair a water-wheel. He assumed that, already equipped with an eye-patch, and more importantly a non-functional eye, the rule would have no effect on him.

But, due to zeal in defense of the sovereign, or perhaps certain reservations about the cut of the mechanic’s clothes, the Sergeant of the Gate declared that, in order to present a disadvantage as intended, the patch would have to be worn over the newcomer’s good eye, not the bad one.

Appeal to the Chief of the Guard did no good.

So, in the country of the King, the one-eyed man is blind.

(That was the easy case, I think, mundane and cloudy. One could as well have done “In the country of the King, the blind man has one eye”, which might have been about how the monarch’s deity-infused aura provides sight to the sightless, or alternately “In the country of the one-eyed, the blind man is King”, which might have taken more thought.)

And there was some third thing that I was going to write down, and that in fact is the thing that got me to open up this computer and start writing in the weblog here, but at the moment I have entirely forgotten it (phah!) so I will just say that I have been playing Real Racing 3 on the iPad here, and it is fun. And the graphics are woot good heavens! Right now I am working on upgrading my second car, a BMW M3 Coupe which I have “resprayed” all shiny red:

Real Racing 3 cars

That’s my first car, a now-fully-upgraded Nissan Silvia S15, behind it.

The In-App Purchases have not annoyed me, or tempted me, yet (unlike in certain other pad games).

Vroom vroom!